Double Your Dating by David DeAngelo

Women Don’t Make Sense

I’m going to start off this whole shebang by giving you my take on women in general.

I know, I know. Every woman is a unique creature. But women have more commonalties than they have differences. So let’s start with what I think they have in common and then we’ll move on to how they differ. (The ideas that I’m about to share with you here are from my own research, testing in the real world, and personal analysis.)

For most men, a woman is like a Chinese puzzle inside of a brain twister.

Much of their behavior makes no sense at all (to men).

If there’s one thing that I’m clear about, it’s that most women THINK differently than most men, and most women want different things than most men.

This is hard for many men to grasp or understand, but it’s true. And the sooner you get a handle on what’s going on here, the sooner you’ll become more successful with women.

Let’s start by comparing what men and women are interested in.

Have you ever stopped to think about what entertains women as a group compared to what entertains men as a group? Women buy Cosmopolitan magazines, watch soap operas, and read romance novels. Men buy Playboy, watch sports, and read the paper.

Hey, wait a minute here! What’s in those Cosmos, soaps, and romance novels? And why are women so attracted to them?

And why is it that when men try to watch a soap opera or read a romance novel all they can say is, “I don’t get it…”?

I’ll tell you why. It’s because women’s brains are wired differently from men’s brains. That’s why.

And by telling you about what attracts women’s attention, I’ve also given you a clue about how to attract them to YOU.

Where Our Desires Come From

After spending the last ten years or so studying psychology and behavior, I’ve come to the opinion that MOST of our desires, drives, preferences, strengths, weaknesses, behaviors, and personality traits are determined by our DNA and some by our social conditioning. I’m talking about both men and women here.

Even differences like whether a person prefers adventure or couch riding are largely a matter of programming from birth (If you really disagree with me on this one, read some books on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator or try the book Who Am I? by Steven Reiss.)

In any event, HOWEVER they got to be interested in these common things, most women have a few main interests, needs, desires, or whatever you want to call them when it comes to men, relationships, and romance.

Have you ever read the personals? Have you ever noticed how many women say things like “princess looking for prince”, “friends first”, and “looking for my soulmate”? Have you ever noticed how almost NO men ever say these things?

What’s going on?

Have you ever listened to a group of women talking about men? Ever notice how they speak largely in some kind of code language and constantly make a big deal out of tiny details that seem totally irrelevant?

Have you ever noticed, on the other hand, how men are direct with each other and have no interest in bickering over small things?

What’s going on?

Have you ever noticed how many women are attracted to drama?

Here’s my take on this whole subject: Women are playing out a role that hasn’t changed for thousands (or millions?) of years. These days the language and clothing are different. But it’s the same that it’s always been.

There are many parts of human brains that create drives and desires for different things. Often, these drives conflict with each other.

For instance, a woman might want a strong man in her life, but she might also want a feeling of independence. She might want to have attention, but she might also want to be seen as above needing it. (Men have these types of conflicts as well, but in different areas.)

So, for example, I hear a lot of men saying things like, “I hate all the drama that women create. Why do they create this stuff?”

My answer: Drama accomplishes a lot of things at once. It gets attention, it sends emotions through the body (emotions are highly addictive chemicals), it’s a way to be self-righteous, it’s often fun, it’s interesting and prevents boredom, it gives things meaning… and on and on. There are a lot of good reasons for drama. But most men can’t understand because drama fulfills needs that MOST MEN DON’T HAVE.

It’s like women saying, “I hate it when all a guy can talk about is sports.” What needs to sports fulfill for men? Competition, adrenaline, power, domination… all the typical guy stuff. Incidentally, stuff that fulfills needs that most women just plain don’t have.

The First Shift In Thinking

So let’s start off with this shift in thinking: Think about what the woman who you’re interested in needs and wants and don’t assume that these are the same things that YOU need and want.

And don’t assume that what women want is going to make any sense at all to you, because it probably won’t. This shift in thinking was a big one for me personally to understand. Almost none of what I do to be successful with women makes any sense to me logically, because I’m not a woman. But now that I see that what I do works over and over again, I realize that it doesn’t matter what makes sense.

All that matters is WHAT WORKS.

Let’s get a little deeper into the female heart and mind.

Females select males most of the time in nature… and in modern human courtship. And even if the man selects the woman, many if not most women still harbor the secret fantasy that they’re ‘letting him do it’, etc.

Sooooooo…. It’s good to address this issue and point out when talking to women (even if you hint at it and talk about past experiences to make the point) that you are the selector and not the selectee. This kind of thing is very powerful, as it does one of my favorite things: It points out something to the woman that she’s most likely NEVER HEARD FROM A MAN IN HER ENTIFE LIFE. I specialize in saying things that women have never heard. I also like to say things that she’s never heard that MAKE ME DIFFERENT IN A DESIRABLE WAY.

I even say to women, “I’m about to tell you something (or something about you) that no one has ever told you…” This really gets a woman on the edge of her seat and puts her into an instant state of attention (when done in a context that makes sense). And if the thing you tell them is profound enough, they’ll begin to see you as a sort of super psychic powerhouse (women are fascinated by these kinds of insights).

My personal view is that if you help people to have profound realizations, they’ll see you as a guru rather than seeing the information or themselves as powerful. It doesn’t matter from where the info came, as long as it’s something that the person has never really thought about in that way (that’s also profound to her).

One good example is to say to a hot woman who’s acting arrogant, “You don’t have me fooled for a minute, dear.”

When she says, “What are you talking about?”, you say, “Well, I know that most men fall for this ‘I’m beautiful and aloof and I get my way’ part of your personality… but I know something that none of them know… that there’s really another side of you. A side that none of THEM get to see. I’ll bet you a dollar right now that I know something about you that no one who’s only known you for 5 minutes has EVER known… … You may act tough, but you’re actually EXTREMELY sensitive on the inside. If someone makes a negative comment to you, you might act like it doesn’t bother you… but you’ll think about it all the way home… I know that secretly you’re as sensitive as a little girl… it’s just that most people never get to meet that part of you…”

This messes up a cold woman soooo hard that you have to be ready for instant personality meltdown and a completely different person to come out of her. At this point, it’s often easy to start talking about the whole pickup scene and how women play men, etc. to let her know that you’re an insider and not falling for her game. If you drop two or three more profound comments during this time, you’ll have a woman who won’t leave you alone (but keep acting like you want to be left alone so she’ll stay after you!). Nice.

It’s A Game To Them

Women often view men picking up on them as a sort of game. They talk about it with each other, they have standard lines that they learn when you ask for their number such as, “Why don’t you give me YOUR number instead and I can call you…?” and so on.

I know that some, maybe even most women go out on weekends with the mindset of “I’m never going to meet Mr. Right at a club, but it boosts my ego to have men paying attention to me by the dozens, and I like to have free drinks… and I love to dance with my girlfriends and be a tease… and I love the power of shooting men down while pretending to be annoyed by it… etc.”

Why Women Are Attracted To Things Like Fame, Money, And Power

In my opinion, women are attracted to things like fame, money, and power because they are genetically and socially programmed on an unconscious level to believe that these men are more intelligent, more fun, more interesting, more able to give them the lifestyle – and MOST IMPORTANTLY – more able to give them the FEELINGS that they want. In his book Influence, Robert Cialdini talks about a psychological principle called the ‘Halo Effect’. In a nutshell, humans naturally assume that attractive and powerful people are smarter and more trustworthy than average people.

A woman desires a man who fits into her self-image fantasies that have been forming since she was very young. And thanks to Disney these fantasies were imbedded even further than her genetic wiring ever intended.

Overall, the answer is to realize that rich, powerful, famous guys have the advantage at the beginning from their FAMILIARITY and ASSUMED, PROJECTED positive traits. But if you can learn to get a woman’s attention and then give her the FEELINGS that she’s always wanted, she’ll treat you like you’re famous, rich, and powerful as well.

A tall, handsome man, or a famous rich man ‘pushes a button’ and triggers certain feelings inside of a woman. If you’re not rich, famous, tall and/or super attractive, you have to learn to ‘install the button’ so that when they see you, they automatically have those feelings. The good news is that you can do this with most women, whereas you cannot with most men.

While women are interested in looks to some degree, they are MORE interested in how you make them feel. Even if you don’t understand this concept, you have to believe and start acting as if it’s true. You must behave as if you confidently believe that you are the best thing for a woman and that you are going to make her feel wonderful.

Women can pick up this particular belief, and they respond to it.

Ask yourself:

“How would I walk if I believed that I could make any woman feel great inside?“

“How would I talk if I believed that I could make any woman feel great inside?”

“What would the expression be on my face if I believed that I could make any woman feel great inside?”

“How would I act differently if I were the kind of man that women dreamed about?”

Then start doing these things. When you’re talking to a woman, imagine how good you’re going to make her feel. Fake it till you make it. Just do it. Women will notice.

The Dark Side Of Beauty

Underneath all of the beauty, most of these powerful women have a ‘shadow’ or dark side.

This dark side is secretly wanting a man who is in control of himself, his reality, and them.

But they’d never admit it – often not even to themselves.

But their unconscious knows and recognizes this desire as something that they want. They also hold a kind of inner CONTEMPT for the weak people (especially men) who give them everything they want, as is evidenced by the “Oh, he’s just a guy I use to buy me things and “He’s my ‘Boytoy’ kind of comments that women often make to their girlfriends.

On the topic of men giving gifts to women and buying them things: Many women will take what is available to them (even if they have to do a little manipulation for it), but they will ultimately resent and disrespect a man who gives too much to them.

As a matter of fact, to most hot women, THEIR REALITY is that men kiss up to them and give them what they ask for or demand (worst case, they have to get upset or act bitchy to get their way). AGAIN, THIS IS THEIR REALITY. Men who don’t fit this mold are often just tuned out as if they didn’t exist in order to keep this reality as pure as possible for them.

(Also, I think that many women harbor contempt for their beauty. At a shadow level, they are kept from living a real life and being closer to the real world simply because fewer and fewer people can relate to them in proportion to how ‘beautiful’ they are and make themselves. Addressing this topic when speaking to women is VERY powerful. More later.)

Men are often behaving like ass kissers because they are afraid that a woman might get upset and leave. The fact is that by acting this way, a woman is MORE likely to leave. It’s one of those paradoxes that’s a self-fulfilling prophesy. If a woman whines, a man might begin to think, “Oh, no… I need to kiss her ass or she might leave. Even though she’s being ridiculous, I have to go along with it…”

This is bad for her, for you, and for the relationship between you. Learn to never let a woman act like a Brat without you calling her on it (AND IN A COOL, ALMOST INDIFFERENT WAY!)

This is very counter-intuitive, but again, we’re dealing with female human behavior, which has roots and drives that are complex and often difficult to trace.

The solution is to NOT kiss ass or do things for them like everyone else. Be different. Expect them to pull their own weight, call them on all of their issues and messedup behaviors just like you would a guy friend or family member (Use the same “you’re my friend and I’m saying this for your benefit” tone that you’d use with a friend), tease and make fun of their insecurities in a playful way, reframe other men who kiss their ass, and put beauty in a new light (as a curse, etc., how she can never have anyone see her for who she truly is, how every man she knows would sleep with her in a minute, and how it often leads to less inner fulfillment).

The fact is that women will sleep with rich men who kiss their asses and model-handsome guys who don’t treat them well to satisfy their PHYSICAL drives.

But overall, an average looking man who takes good care of himself and makes enough money to live comfortably who is cocky, direct, challenging, confident, funny, and in control – one who challenges her constantly and never kisses her ass EVER – will be FAR more fulfilling to a beautiful woman than the other types.

This difference is not only interesting to her, but it’s also challenging as well (something she doesn’t experience often). A man who does such will not only be able to win her body, but also her interest and fascination. It will also keep her messed up behaviors more in check while allowing you to stay more in control of the situation.

***Note: If any of this stuff sounds too far out for you, I recommend that you go out to a mall and find yourself a few really beautiful women. Then ask them to read the last few pages of this book and to tell you the accuracy of this material. If you’re a doubter, you won’t believe the responses you’ll get. I’ve asked many beautiful women about these ideas and almost EVERY ONE OF THEM has told me that this line of thinking is accurate.

You’ll also notice out in the real world that some fortunate men have the looks, fame, personality, or whatever that causes women to act naturally open and receptive to them.

If you’re one of these men, then congrats to you!

If you’re not one of these men (I’m not, so I understand what it’s like) then you have to LEARN how to get inside of a woman’s mind and heart and CAUSE her to start acting this way toward you. It may take a few minutes of conversation, or even up to an hour or so… but if you learn the skills that I’m going to teach you, you can learn how to cause women to act this way toward you, too.

Remember, attraction has different roads that lead to it. Some are easy shortcuts, but some take a little longer, present more challenges, and require more skill. But there is a structure to the process and if you learn that structure, you will be more successful.

The Underlying Motives

I think that it’s important to look at the differences between men and women from an objective perspective.

Remember that just about every thought and behavior that a woman has, no matter how little sense it may make to you, has some positive intention behind it. Drama is often to get attention. Jealousy is often a way of protecting a relationship. Games are often used to make sure that a man is serious and willing to invest energy.

So as you work to become more successful with women, remember not to take things personally. Don’t get discouraged if you encounter games, drama, and things that you don’t understand. It’s all part of the game.

I believe that underneath it all, men are usually trying to find women who will give them sex, and women are usually trying to find men who will give them loyalty and commitment. This has evolved over many millions of years, and these goals contain an obvious conflict of interest.

So just realize this conflict exists, and as you learn, remember to take it into consideration.

And, of course, don’t take any of it personally. Men have been dealing with all of these same issues for a long, long time.

Extract from Double Your Dating by David DeAngelo

 

My opinion ? (4/5)

A classic ! A good ebook ! A must read !

You can download it here if you’re interested.

NB : vous pouvez facilement trouver ce produit en français sur Internet…

Comment Récupérer Votre Femme En Moins De 30 Jours par John Alexander

Les Erreurs Habituelles – Combien en Avez-Vous Faites?

Voici deux études de cas qui montrent que vous n’êtes pas le seul dans cette situation.

L’Histoire de Luc

Luc est sorti avec Marie pendant 18 mois. Ça peut paraître peu dit comme ça, mais Luc était si heureux avec elle que ça lui a paru beaucoup plus long.

Le temps aidant, Marie était devenue tout pour Luc. Il avait perdu contact avec ses anciens amis et avait renoncé à ses hobbies et habitudes. Marie bien sûr, sortait toujours avec ses anciens amis… mais lorsqu’elle le faisait, Luc était jaloux et se fâchait après elle, il pensait qu’elle allait le tromper ou que tous les autres mecs la materaient.

Luc ne voulait plus Marie… il en avait besoin à présent. Elle était la seule source de bonheur dans sa vie.

Lorsque Marie rompit, Luc fit quelque chose qu’il n’avait jamais fait auparavant parce qu’il se trouvait dans un état de désespoir intense. Elle était tout pour lui, qu’aurait-il pu faire d’autre?

Luc se leva et se rendit ridicule devant toutes les personnes qui se trouvaient dans le restaurant ce soir-là. Il se mit à genoux, lui tendit la main les yeux pleins de larmes et la supplia de le reprendre.

“Je suis désolée” dit Marie. “J’ai l’impression que tu es mon frère, il n’y a plus d’alchimie entre nous. Je ne pense pas que ça puisse marcher. J’ai besoin d’espace.” Ceci dit, lle se leva, lui tourna le dos, et s’en alla.

Le mois suivant Luc passa son temps à poursuivre Marie. Il l’appelait, lui envoyait des textos ou des emails tous les jours – voire même plusieurs fois par jour. Elle ne lui répondit qu’une fois, pour lui dire qu’elle était “occupée”. Tous les autres messages de sa part restèrent sans réponse.

Luc réussit finalement à discuter avec une de ses amies. Elle lui dit que Marie ne voulait plus de lui “parce qu’il était trop désespéré et déprimé”.

Quelques jours plus tard, Luc entendit dire que Marie était revenue avec son ex, un connard qui la traitait comme une merde. Luc, lui, avait toujours été le mec sympa qui fait tout pour sa copine.

Désespéré, Luc se tourna alors vers moi.

L’Histoire de Marc

Marc était sorti avec Lilly plusieurs fois sur une période de trois ans. Marc l’avait trompé avec d’autres femmes, Lilly l’avait découvert et l’avait jeté. C’est alors que Marc a compris ce qu’il avait perdu et il voulut une relation stable avec Lilly. Il avait vraiment l’impression d’avoir changé.

En fait, il serait peu dire qu’à présent Marc est convaincu que Lilly est la fille parfaite pour lui.

Marc voulait convaincre Lilly qu’il avait changé. Il voulait qu’elle l’écoute et comprenne que tout ceci était vrai et qu’il ne s’agissait pas d’une vaine promesse.

Il lui dit qu’il devenait fou sans elle, qu’il souhaitait ne jamais l’avoir trompée et qu’il était prêt à tout pour qu’elle le pardonne, lui fasse confiance et l’aime à nouveau.

Marc savait qu’il ne fallait pas qu’il ait l’air d’être désespéré, pathétique ou en manque, mais il ne savait plus quoi faire ou dire à Lilly pour qu’elle oublie tout. Il savait qu’il lui fallait avoir l’air cool et confiant, mais il était trop désespéré de lui montrer qu’il l’aimait toujours. C’était un vrai dilemme pour lui.

Dépasser Vos Erreurs

Il est probable que votre propre histoire ait beaucoup en commun avec celle de Marc ou de Luc, voire une combinaison des deux. Vous ne vous en êtes peut-être pas encore rendu compte mais Marc et Luc ont fait beaucoup de très mauvaises erreurs. Ces pauvres garçons ne savaient pas comment faire autrement.

Vous pourrez très bientôt identifier leurs erreurs et les éviter ainsi.

Re-Déclencher l’Attirance d’une Femme Pour Vous

À présent que vous êtes devenu une rareté dans la vie de votre ex, il est temps de vous mettre au travail. Vous allez vous transformer en homme idéal. Lorsque votre ex découvrira ce changement, c’est elle qui vous suppliera de la reprendre.

Dernièrement, votre relation a été synonyme de stress pour votre copine. Ce qu’il vous faut faire maintenant c’est la libérer de ce stress et vous arranger pour que les choses deviennent à nouveau agréables entre vous.

Par exemple, de nombreux mecs se plaignent auprès de leurs ex du fait que leurs vies sont devenues tristes depuis qu’elles les ont quittés. C’est une énorme erreur qui ne fait qu’augmenter le stress ressenti par leurs copines. Votre ex compatira probablement un peu, mais, en vérité, elle s’en fout de ce que vous pouvez ressentir depuis qu’elle vous a jeté. En fait, elle pourrait même vous en vouloir de la faire se sentir coupable à ce sujet. L’idée ici c’est de ne pas donner le contrôle de vos émotions à votre ex (ou à aucune autre femme en fait), ou cela finira en désastre. Vous devez prendre le contrôle de vous-même.

Vous allez utiliser pour votre auto-amélioration ce que le gourou de la productivité, Steve Pavlina, appelle la force irrésistible. Elle vient de la doctrine Powell en stratégie militaire. Plutôt que de n’engager que les ressources que vous croyez être nécessaires à la réalisation d’une mission, il vous faut sur-engager vos ressources. Vous devez engager tout ce qui vous est possible, dans le but d’obtenir une victoire rapide et massive. Rappelez-vous comment les Etats-Unis ont géré le conflit de la guerre du golfe en 1991. De cette façon, vous évitez une lutte de longue haleine. Bien que votre engagement semble être trop important, étant donné que votre victoire n’en sera que plus rapide, sur le long terme, il ne le semblera plus autant.

Avant la fin de ces trois semaines, vous utiliserez toutes vos forces pour devenir un homme attirant. Votre ex ne pourra alors vous résister.
L’attirance fonctionne à un niveau très primaire chez les femmes. Elle peut SAVOIR que vous êtes l’homme qui convient pour elle en toute logique. (Vous êtes un homme responsable, adulte, vous feriez un bon mari et un bon père.) Mais il est également nécessaire qu’elle RESSENTE cette attraction envers vous à un niveau instinctif. C’est pour cela qu’il est important que vous deveniez un homme attirant, ainsi, lorsque vous reprendrez contact avec elle au 21e jour, elle sera attirée vers vous comme un aimant.

Avant que je ne passe aux détails, laissez-moi vous dire une chose. Vous ne pouvez en aucun cas utiliser l’excuse d’un “manque de temps”. Vous n’avez que peu d’effort à faire pour devenir plus attirant. Vous voulez récupérer cette fille oui ou non? Il est alors temps de sur-engager vos forces dans la bataille et d’utiliser cette force irrésistible pour accomplir votre mission.

 

Extrait de : Comment Récupérer Votre Femme En Moins De 30 Jours par John Alexander

 

Mon avis ?  (4/5)

C’est un bon ebook. Mais ce n’est pas vraiment mon délire de vouloir “récupérer une fille”. La traduction est correcte.

Vous pouvez la télécharger ici si vous êtes intéressé.

How to Get A Girl Back In 30 Days Or Less by John Alexander

Common Mistakes – How Many of These Have You Made?

 

Below are two case studies to show you you’re not the only guy facing a lot of bad newsright now.

Luke’s Story

 

Luke had been with Amber for 18 months. That may not sound like a lot in the grandscheme of things, but he was so happy with her that it felt like a lifetime.

As time went by, Amber became Luke’s entire life. He lost contact with all his old friendsand quit his old hobbies and interests. Of course, Amber still went out with her friends…but when she did, Luke would get jealous and angry at her, thinking she was cheatingon him or at least other guys would be undressing her with their eyes.

It was as if Luke no longer just wanted Amber… now it was more like he

neededher.She had become his entire source of happiness in life.

Then when the break-up talk happened, Luke did something he had never done before,because it was an act of extreme desperation. But she was his everything, so what elsecould he do?

Luke got up and, embarrassing himself in front of all the other people at the diner,bowed his head and got down on one knee. He held his hand out to her and, with tearsin eyes, begged her to take him back.

“I’m sorry,” Amber said, refusing to take his hand. “I feel like you’re my brother. Thechemistry is gone. I don’t feel like this can work. I need my space.” With that, she stoodup, turned her back on him and walked away.

For the next month Luke kept chasing and stalking Amber. He was calling, texting, or emailing her every day – and usually it was multiple times a day. She only got back withhim once, to tell him she was “busy.” The rest of his dozens of groveling emails, texts,and voice mails went unanswered.

Luke was able to finally talk with one of Amber’s friends. She told him, “Amber doesn’twant to date you anymore because you’re too depressed.”

Then a couple days later Luke heard through the grapevine that Amber had gotten backwith her ex, a real jerk who verbally abused her and treated her like crap. Luke hadalways been the “nice guy” and did everything for Amber.

In desperation, Luke turned to me.

Robby’s Story

 

Robby’s been going out with Bernadette on and off for 3 years. Robby experimented with sex with other women, and Bernadette found out and dumped him. But now, herealizes what he’s lost and wants a stable relationship with Bernadette. He feels like hereally is a changed guy.

Actually, to say he feels like Bernadette would be perfect for him would be the

understatement of the century.

Robby wants to convince Bernadette that he’s changed. He wants her to listen to himand believe what he says is real and not another broken promise from the past.

He’s going crazy without her. He wishes he didn’t cheat on her, but now he desperatelywants to know how to make her forgive him, trust him again and love him again.

Robby knows he shouldn’t be needy, desperate or clingy, but he’s confused about whathe should say and do to get Bernadette back in light of the cheating. He knows he shouldplay it cool and confident, but is at a loss about how to let her know he’s stillinterested and of course to get her interested in him again. It’s a real dilemma for him.

Overcoming Your Mistakes

 

It’s likely your own story shares a lot of elements in common with Luke’s or Robby’s, ora combination of the two. You may not realize this yet, but Luke and Robby made a lot of really bad mistakes.

The poor guys just didn’t know better.Pretty soon you’ll be able to identify their mistakes, so you can avoid making themyourself.

Re-Igniting Your Woman’s Attraction for You

 

Now that you’ve made yourself scarce in your ex-girlfriend’s life, it’s time to get busy.You’re going to transform yourself into the ideal man. Then your ex will discover thegreat change in you and beg to be part of your life again.

What you’ve been doing lately is putting a lot of stress on your ex-girlfriend and on therelationship. What you want instead is to have things be fun again for her and free from stress.

For example, a lot of guys whine to their exes about how sad they are now that they’rebroken up, but this is a huge mistake and accomplishes nothing except putting morestress on her. Your ex-girlfriend might feel a bit of sympathy, but she doesn’t really carehow bad you feel since she’s dumped your ass. In fact, if anything she’d say that you’rethe bastard for making her feel guilty about dumping you – which drives her even furtherfrom you. My point is this: do not put control of your emotions in the hands of your ex-girlfriend (or any woman for that matter), or it’ll end in disaster. Instead take control ofyourself.

What you’re going to do is use what productivity guru Steve Pavlina calls

overwhelming forcein your self-improvement mission. It comes from the PowellDoctrine in military strategy. Rather than committing what you think is the amount ofresources you need to accomplish the mission, you over-commit resources. You throwall you’ve got into it to achieve rapid, massive victory. Think of the way the US handledthe first Gulf War in 1991. That way you avoid a long, drawn out struggle. While your initial commitment of resources is extremely high, in the long run it’s less because you get the job done so much faster.

By the end of the next three weeks you’ll use overwhelming force to make yourself intoan attractive man. Your ex will be unable to resist being attracted to the new you.

Attraction is something a woman feels on a primal level. She can logically KNOW you’re the right guy for her (e.g., you’re a responsible, “grown-up” man, great husband material, and would make a great father to her future children). But she must also FEELattraction on an instinctual level for her to want to be with you. That’s why it’s so important for you to work on becoming attractive, so that when you re-initiate contactwith her on Day 21, she’ll be drawn to you like a magnet.

Before I jump into the details, let me say this.You’re not allowed to use “lack of time” asa cop out. It takes only a bit of effort to make yourself more attractive. Do you want yourgirl back or not? It’s time to overcommit your resources and use massive, overwhelming force to get the mission accomplished.

My opinion ? (4/5)

This book is good ! But I’m not really into “getting a girl back”.

You can download it here if you’re interested.

 

Comment Devenir un Mâle Dominant par John Alexander

La Vérité sur L’Amour des Femmes pour le Sexe… Vous Allez Peut-Être Être Surpris

« Les femmes sont trop compliquées. »
« Les femmes en demandent trop. »
« Je ne comprends pas les femmes. »

Vous entendez ces conneries à longueur de temps. Et, honnêtement, ce sont des excuses. Les autres hommes disent ça car il est plus facile de baisser les bras et de penser que les femmes ne sont que des casse-têtes impossibles à résoudre, plutôt que de s’y essayer vraiment en consacrant tout son esprit à les comprendre.

Voilà ce que vous devez savoir sur les femmes, et c’est plutôt une bonne nouvelle : Ce sont des créatures très sexuelles sur un plan fondamental, biologique. En fait, elles aiment probablement le sexe encore plus que nous. Vous avez déjà remarqué comment les femmes gémissent d’avantage que les hommes lorsqu’elles font l’amour ?

Ce Que Redoutent Toutes Les Femmes (et le truc pour les rassurer et les amener à faire tout ce que vous demanderez !)

Malheureusement la société conditionne les femmes à croire, dans la partie logique de leurs cerveaux, (pas la partie émotionnelle) qu’aimer le sexe, c’est « mal ».

Parce que les femmes ont tendance à être des créatures sociales (d’avantage que les hommes, pour des raisons d’évolution psychologique), des étiquettes telles que « salope » ou « pute » ont un fort impact négatif sur elles.

Aucune de ces conséquences néfastes ne concerne les hommes qui ont beaucoup de partenaires sexuelles. Donc, voici la tragédie suprême du système misogyne mis en place par la religion et la société pour réprimer la sexualité féminine… Partout, les hommes ont beaucoup plus de difficulté à exprimer leur sexualité que s’ils vivaient dans des temps reculés où les femmes seraient sauvages et désinhibées.

Votre travail en tant qu’homme moderne est donc de contourner le conditionnement féminin imposé par la société et de révéler la femme naturelle, authentique.

Ça a l’air difficile ? Croyez-moi, ça ne l’est pas ! Dans un sens, les femmes sont comme des cadenas. Ils semblent impossibles à ouvrir si vous utilisez la mauvaise clé, mais dès que vous avez trouvé la bonne, ils s’ouvrent sans problème. Et oui, vous POUVEZ le faire. Je vais vous montrer comment.

Pour révéler la femme naturelle qui se cache au fond de chaque fille, vous devez toujours garder à l’esprit, qu’à un niveau inconscient, les femmes adorent le sexe et qu’elles en ont envie tout autant (et peut être même plus) que nous.

Et, comme si le conditionnement que la société impose aux femmes ne suffisait pas, une force bien plus grande réside en elles-mêmes : leur biologie. Avoir un enfant est une conséquence complètement naturelle de la sexualité, et toute femme sait ça.

Et elle sait que si elle tombe enceinte alors qu’elle n’est pas censée l’être, les gens parleront. Voilà où réside la tragédie suprême de la condition féminine ; en dépit de leur amour du sexe, elles ne peuvent le vivre librement sans peur d’être traitées de salopes.

Donc, pendant que vous – en tant qu’homme sexuel – emmenez vos rencontres avec le sexe opposé sur le terrain de la sexualité, il vous faut empêcher votre partenaire d’avoir l’impression d’être une salope.

(Au passage, la discrétion sur vos relations joue grandement à votre avantage. La dernière chose que vous devriez vouloir faire est de rechercher l’approbation comme le font ces mâles dominés qui se vantent devant leurs potes des femmes qu’ils se sont tapées. Vous n’avez pas besoin de l’approbation de vos amis, alors il faut oublier ce type de conversations de vestiaires ! Les vrais hommes n’ont pas besoin de ça.)

Vous avez déjà discuté avec des gars qui vous disent : « Nous, les hommes, nous ne comprendrons jamais les femmes » ? Et bien, les femmes ne sont vraiment pas aussi mystérieuses et complexes que ces gars le pensent. Elles ne sont pas non plus aussi différentes que certains d’entre nous pourraient penser.

Maintenant que nous savons que les femmes aiment et ont envie de sexe, il est acceptable pour vous d’avoir le sexe en tête alors que vous établissez un échange avec une femme. En fait, c’est même plutôt une bonne idée.

Ce qu’il vous faut, par contre, éviter de faire à tout prix, c’est de verbaliser vos intentions. Vous ne devez RIEN dire qui ait un rapport avec le sexe, ou vos intentions en la  matière, à une femme.

Lorsque vous révélez vos intentions sexuelles à une femme en le disant, vous faites appel à la partie logique de son cerveau, ce qui entraîne un rappel du conditionnement sociétal. « Oh oh, » pense-t-elle alors. « Ce gars est grossier, vulgaire et dégueulasse. Je vais me faire traiter de salope. »

Il vous faut donc éviter d’être trop explicite en matière de sexe, tout en gardant en tête l’amour des femmes pour le sexe. Vous devez alors essayer de communiquer sexuellement sans rien dire à ce sujet. Utilisez votre langage corporel, pas votre bouche.

Ce Qui Plaît Aux Femmes

Ne prêtez pas attention à ce que disent les femmes sur le type d’homme qui leur plaît ; faites plutôt attention à leur comportement  et au type d’homme vers lequel elles se dirigent vraiment.

Si les femmes étaient honnêtes, elles diraient que le type d’homme qui leur plaît est « un homme sexuel, qui sera à l’origine d’une opportunité de relation sexuelle et persistera dans cette voie jusqu’à dépasser mes barrières. » Cependant elles n’osent pas dire cela de peur d’être traitées de « salope ».

Les femmes aiment les relations, mais elles n’ont pas besoin des hommes pour cela. Après tout, les femmes ont des relations d’amitié très fortes avec leurs copines. Je ne saurai assez le répéter – les femmes cherchent un homme qui leur procure du plaisir sexuel.

Mais voilà un autre ennui biologique : les femmes, en général, choisissent un rôle passif en termes de sexualité. Cela implique que vous, l’homme, devez faire tout le travail pour arriver jusque dans leur lit.

Ne la faites pas prendre les choses en main. Réfléchissez-y une seconde : Elle vit dans la peur de l’étiquette de salope et vous attendez d’elle qu’elle prenne les devants ? Ça n’est pas difficile à comprendre que tant de mecs aient du mal à coucher. Ils en attendent trop – une femme ne prendra tout simplement pas autant de risques.

Pour coucher avec elle, vous allez devoir créer une situation dans laquelle elle sentira qu’elle peut le faire sans que cela ait aucune conséquence pour elle. De son point de vue, elle se dira : « Ce mec m’a fait perdre la tête. Je n’ai eu aucun moyen de lui résister ! »

Voici un exemple : Le mois dernier, j’ai dragué une fille pendant l’happy hour. Nous avons discuté pendant presque deux heures, de sujets qui rendent les femmes hyper loquaces et que je vous révélerai bientôt.

Nous avions un bon contact, et tout à coup (après deux heures de conversation !) elle m’annonce qu’elle a un copain.

À ce moment-là, il y a un certain nombre de façons dont on peut réagir. La plupart des mecs auraient soit :
a) Été vexés et seraient partis, amers quant à la façon dont cette fille les avait « menés en bateau ».
b) Continué à lui parler en essayant de la convaincre de laisser tomber l’autre gars.

Ne vous sentez pas mal d’avoir alors choisi l’option a) ou b). Croyez-moi, je le faisais aussi avant. Dorénavant, j’ai appris qu’il existe une meilleure solution, que j’appelle « Option c) » : Réagissez nonchalamment, en gardant votre attitude de mâle dominant et en lui montrant que ce qu’elle vient de vous dire ne vous a pas troublé.

« Très bien », ai-je répondu d’un ton joueur. « Il sera là pour vous acheter de jolies choses quand vous en aurez fini avec moi ».

Elle a ri, ce qui me montra que j’avais totalement raison sur ce qui se passait entre elle et moi ce soir-là.

D’habitude, je ne drague pas de filles déjà prises, mais allons, cette fille flirtait sérieusement avec moi depuis deux heures dans ce bar… sa relation avec son copain était-elle si bonne ?

(Et, au fait, si une femme qui a déjà un mec vous drague, écoutez-moi bien… si elle ne couche pas avec vous, alors elle trouvera un autre gars qui satisfera ses désirs charnels. Son copain actuel ne la satisfait pas ou alors elle ne serait pas en train de flirter avec d’autres hommes.)

Alors que la soirée avançait, nous avons trouvé l’excuse parfaite pour qu’elle passe chez moi. Elle était fan de la famille royale anglaise, et je lui ai dit que j‘avais une collection de magazines people qui datait d’un voyage en Grande-Bretagne. « Viens les voir », lui ai-je dit.

Une fois chez moi, bien sûr, il a juste s’agit de maintenir nos échanges sous contrôle jusqu’au moment où elle serait prête à passer à l’action. (Je vous expliquerai comment y parvenir dans un chapitre à venir.)

En d’autres termes : du sexe sans conséquences. Voilà ce que cherchent les femmes.

Vous avez déjà entendu des histoires de femmes en vacances qui cherchent des aventures d’un soir. Vous vous êtes déjà demandé pourquoi elles font ça ? C’est parce qu’il n’y aura pas de conséquences pour elles ; personne ne les traitera de salopes. Cette aventure arrive spontanément, car les conditions s’y prêtent. Une femme qui se trouve à des milliers de kilomètres de chez elle peut répondre à ses désirs charnels, et personne chez elle n’aura besoin de le savoir.

Ne Soyez Pas Explicite À Propos De Ce Que Vous Avez En Tête

Il existe une espèce de rituel d’accouplement chez les humains. C’est un peu comme une danse, qui durerait plusieurs heures. Ce rituel doit suivre les étapes qui conviennent pour que l’acte sexuel puisse avoir lieu.

Nous les hommes, nous avons cette tendance malheureuse qui consiste à vouloir mettre les choses au clair rapidement, nous voulons savoir ce qui se passe entre nous et elle, et nous voulons aussi savoir si elle serait tentée par une relation sexuelle avec nous.

C’est une énorme erreur.

Il ne faut jamais verbaliser le rituel d’accouplement ni ses étapes. Ne soyez pas trop explicite quant à vos intentions. C’est un comportement masculin logique. La logique tue les émotions, et les émotions d’une femme sont cruciales si vous voulez qu’elle soit sexuellement réceptive à vos appels.

En ne parlant pas de vos intentions sexuelles, vous donnerez l’illusion que vous aurez couché ensemble « spontanément ». Vous garderez active la partie émotionnelle de son cerveau tout en maintenant la partie logique inactive. Et c’est ce que nous cherchons – c’est la partie logique du cerveau qui dit « Non » !

Si elle vous voit comme un vrai gentleman avec qui ce premier rendez-vous s’est superbement bien passé, alors elle raisonnera le fait que, même si elle ne couche normalement pas le premier soir, vous étiez l’exception.

Souvenez-vous de ceci : ce que cherchent les femmes c’est un partenaire sexuel qui leur donne du plaisir… et elles veulent que vous preniez les commandes.

Extrait de : Comment Devenir un Mâle Dominant par John Alexander

 

Mon avis ?  (5/5)

Le premier ebook qui a vraiment débloqué mon game. La traduction de ce classique qui a changé ma vie est bonne.

Vous pouvez la télécharger ici si vous êtes intéressé.

How to Become an Alpha Male by John Alexander

The Truth About Women’s Love of Sex . . . It May Surprise You

“Women are too complicated”
“Women are too needy”
“I don’t understand women”

You hear that crap all the time. And, honestly, it’s a cop-out. Other men say that because it’s easier to throw up their hands and just relate to women as black boxes that can’t be understood than to try and wrap their minds around understanding women.

Here’s what you need to understand about women, and it’s good news: they are very sexual creatures on a fundamental, biological level. In fact, they probably enjoy sex even more than we do. Ever notice how women moan uring
sex much more than men do?

What All Women Live In Fear Of (and the trick to soothing this anxiety so they’ll do whatever you ask!)

Unfortunately, society conditions women to believe, in the logical portion of their minds, (not the emotional portion) that it’s “wrong” to enjoy sex.

Because women tend to be social creatures (more so than men, for reasons of evolutionary psychology), labels such as “slut” or “whore” have a strong, negative effect on them.

None of these penalties apply to men who have lots of sex. Thus, the supreme tragedy of the misogynistic system set up by religion and society to repress women’s sexuality is that men everywhere have more of a challenge in getting sex than they would if they were living back in pre-civilization times when women were wild and uninhibited.

So your job as a man in modern society is to get around a woman’s societal conditioning and draw out the natural woman within her.

Sound hard? Believe me, it’s not! In a way, women are like padlocks. They seem impossible if you’re using the wrong keys, but once you find the right key, they open easily. And yes, you CAN do this. I’m going to show you how.

To draw out the natural woman that lies deep inside every chick, you must always bear in mind that on a subconscious level, women love sex and they want it just as much as (and maybe more than) we do.

And as if the societal conditioning that women are subjected to isn’t bad enough, a much more powerful force lies within them: their biology. A perfectly natural consequence that can result from having sex is having babies, and every woman knows it.

And she knows that if she gets pregnant when she isn’t supposed to be pregnant, people will talk. Therein lies the supreme tragedy of women; despite loving sex, they can’t be free with their sexuality without being labeled a slut.

So while you–as a sexual man–move your encounters with women towards sex, you need to prevent her from feeling like a slut.

(By the way, it’s to your own advantage to be discreet with women. The last thing you should ever do is be like the approval-seeking beta males who brag to their buddies about the women they’ve bedded. You don’t need the approval of your buddies, so skip the locker room talk! Real men don’t need to
do that.)

Ever talked with guys who tell you, “We men will never understand women”? Well, women really aren’t as mysterious or hard to understand as guys think. Nor are they as different from us as some of us might think.

Since we know that women want sex, it’s OK for you to have sex as your agenda when you interact with them. In fact, it’s actually a good idea.

What you should avoid doing at all costs, however, is verbalizing your intentions. You do NOT want to say anything about sex, or your intent to have it, to the woman.

Whenever you reveal your sexual intentions to a woman by saying something about it, you engage the logical portion of her mind, which causes her societal conditioning to kick in. “Uh oh,” she thinks. “This guy is tacky, gross, and creepy. And I could end up being a slut here.”

So avoid being explicit about sex, and keep in the back of your mind how much women love sex, and work on projecting sexuality without saying anything at all about it. Use your body language, not your mouth.

What Women Like

Don’t listen to what women say when they talk about the kind of men they like; instead watch their behavior and look at the kinds of men they actually go for.

If a woman were honest, she would say that the type of man she likes is “a sexual man who will create an opportunity for sex and will persist past my barriers.” She doesn’t dare say this, however, because she’s terrified of some
calling her a “slut.”

Women like relationships, but that’s not something they need a man for. After all, women have very close relationships with their female friends. I can’t repeat it enough—women want a man who provides them with good sex.

And here’s another biological bummer: women usually assume the
passive role when it comes to sex. So that means that you, the man, need to
take responsibility for the sex by pushing the encounter steadily towards the lay.

Don’t make her take the lead. I mean, think about it: she lives in fear of the slut label and you’re expecting her to initiate sex? It’s no wonder so many guys have trouble getting laid. That’s way too much to expect—a woman’s simply not going to go out on a limb that much.

For you to get laid, you’re going to have to create a situation where the woman feels like she can have sex with you without consequences for her.

For example, last month I picked up a woman at happy hour. We talked for a couple hours, about the topics I’ll reveal later that make women super chatty.

We hit it off well, and then (two hours into our conversation!) she tells me that she has a boyfriend.

At this point, there were a number of ways I could have reacted. Most guys would have either:
a) Gotten upset and left, feeling bitter about how the woman had “led me on.”
b) Tried to talk themselves up and convince the girl to dump that other guy for them.

Most guys would have opted for either a or b. Believe me, I used to do that
too. Instead I’ve learned that the best thing to do is what I call “Option C”: react nonchalantly, maintaining my alpha male composure and demonstrating that what she said didn’t phase me.

“Good,” I said playfully. “He’ll keep you occupied when you’re away from
me.”

She laughed, which meant it was fully on between her and me that night.

I don’t normally go for chicks with boyfriends, but she’d been flirting hard with some guy in a bar for two hours, so how good could that relationship be?!

(And by the way, if a woman comes onto you who’s in a relationship, mark my words… if she doesn’t have sex with you, then she’ll find some other guy to hook up with and satisfy her carnal desires. Her current boyfriend is unsatisfying to her or else she wouldn’t be flirting with other guys.)

As the evening went on we had the perfect excuse for her to swing by my place. She was a big aficionado of the British Royal Family, and I told her about my collection of gossip magazines from the time I vacationed in England. “Come check them out,” I said.

Once we go to my apartment, of course, it was just a matter of me maintaining control of the interaction and allowing her to slowly heat up sexually. (I reveal how to do this in a later section of this guide.)

Around 2 AM she decided to leave my place, not wanting to spend the night. All she’d wanted from me was sex, with no strings attached. (She knew that no one would ever find out about what she and I did.)

In other words: sex with no consequences. That’s what women crave.

You’ve probably heard about women on vacation looking for out of town flings. Ever wonder why they do that? It’s because there’s no accountability for them; they’re not going to get called a slut. Sex happens spontaneously, because the conditions are right. A woman thousands of miles from home can fulfill her carnal desires, and no one from her hometown need ever know.

Don’t Explicitly Talk About What You’re Going To Do

There’s a certain mating ritual that humans do. It’s like a dance, which lasts for a number of hours. The mating ritual must follow the proper steps in order for the sex to take place.

We guys have an unfortunate tendency of wanting to always clear the air and find out from the woman straight up what’s going on, where everything stands between the two of you, and how she feels about having sex. This is a huge mistake.

Never verbalize anything about where you are in the mating ritual with a woman. Don’t tell her explicitly what you intentions are. That’s a logical, male thing to do. Logical things kill emotions, and emotions are crucial for a woman to have in order to be sexually receptive to you.

By not talking about your intentions concerning sex, you’ll make it seem like the two of you had sex spontaneously. You’ll keep the emotional part of her engaged, while the logical portion of her mind stays disengaged. And that’s good—it’s the logical part of her mind that says, “No!”

If you come across to her as a real gentleman with whom she really hit it off, then she’ll rationalize in her mind that even though she doesn’t normally have sex on a first date, you were an exception.

Just remember: a good time for a woman consists of good sex with a man… and she wants you to take the lead.

Extract from How to Become an Alpha Male by John Alexander

 

My opinion ? (5/5)

The first ebook that unlocked my game.  It’s pretty good, it changed my life and is a classic !

You can download it here if you’re interested.