Common Mistakes – How Many of These Have You Made?
Below are two case studies to show you you’re not the only guy facing a lot of bad newsright now.
Luke had been with Amber for 18 months. That may not sound like a lot in the grandscheme of things, but he was so happy with her that it felt like a lifetime.
As time went by, Amber became Luke’s entire life. He lost contact with all his old friendsand quit his old hobbies and interests. Of course, Amber still went out with her friends…but when she did, Luke would get jealous and angry at her, thinking she was cheatingon him or at least other guys would be undressing her with their eyes.
neededher.She had become his entire source of happiness in life.
Then when the break-up talk happened, Luke did something he had never done before,because it was an act of extreme desperation. But she was his everything, so what elsecould he do?
Luke got up and, embarrassing himself in front of all the other people at the diner,bowed his head and got down on one knee. He held his hand out to her and, with tearsin eyes, begged her to take him back.
“I’m sorry,” Amber said, refusing to take his hand. “I feel like you’re my brother. Thechemistry is gone. I don’t feel like this can work. I need my space.” With that, she stoodup, turned her back on him and walked away.
For the next month Luke kept chasing and stalking Amber. He was calling, texting, or emailing her every day – and usually it was multiple times a day. She only got back withhim once, to tell him she was “busy.” The rest of his dozens of groveling emails, texts,and voice mails went unanswered.
Luke was able to finally talk with one of Amber’s friends. She told him, “Amber doesn’twant to date you anymore because you’re too depressed.”
Then a couple days later Luke heard through the grapevine that Amber had gotten backwith her ex, a real jerk who verbally abused her and treated her like crap. Luke hadalways been the “nice guy” and did everything for Amber.
In desperation, Luke turned to me.
Robby’s been going out with Bernadette on and off for 3 years. Robby experimented with sex with other women, and Bernadette found out and dumped him. But now, herealizes what he’s lost and wants a stable relationship with Bernadette. He feels like hereally is a changed guy.
understatement of the century.
Robby wants to convince Bernadette that he’s changed. He wants her to listen to himand believe what he says is real and not another broken promise from the past.
He’s going crazy without her. He wishes he didn’t cheat on her, but now he desperatelywants to know how to make her forgive him, trust him again and love him again.
Robby knows he shouldn’t be needy, desperate or clingy, but he’s confused about whathe should say and do to get Bernadette back in light of the cheating. He knows he shouldplay it cool and confident, but is at a loss about how to let her know he’s stillinterested and of course to get her interested in him again. It’s a real dilemma for him.
Overcoming Your Mistakes
It’s likely your own story shares a lot of elements in common with Luke’s or Robby’s, ora combination of the two. You may not realize this yet, but Luke and Robby made a lot of really bad mistakes.
The poor guys just didn’t know better.Pretty soon you’ll be able to identify their mistakes, so you can avoid making themyourself.
Re-Igniting Your Woman’s Attraction for You
Now that you’ve made yourself scarce in your ex-girlfriend’s life, it’s time to get busy.You’re going to transform yourself into the ideal man. Then your ex will discover thegreat change in you and beg to be part of your life again.
What you’ve been doing lately is putting a lot of stress on your ex-girlfriend and on therelationship. What you want instead is to have things be fun again for her and free from stress.
For example, a lot of guys whine to their exes about how sad they are now that they’rebroken up, but this is a huge mistake and accomplishes nothing except putting morestress on her. Your ex-girlfriend might feel a bit of sympathy, but she doesn’t really carehow bad you feel since she’s dumped your ass. In fact, if anything she’d say that you’rethe bastard for making her feel guilty about dumping you – which drives her even furtherfrom you. My point is this: do not put control of your emotions in the hands of your ex-girlfriend (or any woman for that matter), or it’ll end in disaster. Instead take control ofyourself.
overwhelming forcein your self-improvement mission. It comes from the PowellDoctrine in military strategy. Rather than committing what you think is the amount ofresources you need to accomplish the mission, you over-commit resources. You throwall you’ve got into it to achieve rapid, massive victory. Think of the way the US handledthe first Gulf War in 1991. That way you avoid a long, drawn out struggle. While your initial commitment of resources is extremely high, in the long run it’s less because you get the job done so much faster.
By the end of the next three weeks you’ll use overwhelming force to make yourself intoan attractive man. Your ex will be unable to resist being attracted to the new you.
Attraction is something a woman feels on a primal level. She can logically KNOW you’re the right guy for her (e.g., you’re a responsible, “grown-up” man, great husband material, and would make a great father to her future children). But she must also FEELattraction on an instinctual level for her to want to be with you. That’s why it’s so important for you to work on becoming attractive, so that when you re-initiate contactwith her on Day 21, she’ll be drawn to you like a magnet.
Before I jump into the details, let me say this.You’re not allowed to use “lack of time” asa cop out. It takes only a bit of effort to make yourself more attractive. Do you want yourgirl back or not? It’s time to overcommit your resources and use massive, overwhelming force to get the mission accomplished.
My opinion ? (4/5)
This book is good ! But I’m not really into “getting a girl back”.
You can download it here if you’re interested.